Domestic Violence Homicide

Not long ago we had a domestic violence – homicide in our little rural community. Having been in the domestic violence shelter and support services for over 15 years we were asked to write a few words for one of the local papers to be added to an article. While I admire and trust the reporter who requested the information I also have experienced the “I was edited” by a friendly reporter whose hands were tied and I caught the brunt of the edited outcry.  I decided to write a few words, but perhaps due to old age I decided I would shoot as straight as I could.  I also realized that old saying if you tell the truth without humor you will be killed. There is no humor here. This is what I wrote. I will let the paper refer to this blog that way editing will be limited. Realizing selective quoting can still present a problem. We would love to hear your opinion after you have read and thought about everything.

Here it goes:

First, let me express my profound sadness for the children and innocent family members in this case. That said I believe we must look deeply into three issues which rest at the core of this homicide and all acts of violence. We must realize that in the case of domestic violence the operative word is violence.

First, I think we can all agree that the human race is hard wired for violence. Has always been that way and likely will continue until extinction.  Nothing here we can directly impact unless science discovers the violence gene and finds a way to wire around it.

Second, all monotheistic religion, which covers nearly the entire globe are based on violence. All have it in their histories, all agree under certain circumstances it is allowed and in some cases demand it. Magnify this with the fact that most children are raised from birth with these teachings.  As an aside, I find it interesting on the web at the beginning of every hunting season there are countless pictures of young children smiling with their parents over their first kill. We can leave the entire concept of war to stand on its own merits.

Lastly, more specific to this case is the lack of gender equality and respect.  Again religions have a major impact here. We as a nation cannot even get an equal pay bill passed and the ERA has been left by the side of the partisan politics roadside.

Make no mistake I am not blaming religion for this or society’s ills, but they do have a role in it and all have the resources to change it. I sincerely hope they do.

So what can we do?  We can keep a fresh supply of bandages on hand. Court improvement projects, domestic violence programs, universal mental health care for those in need, sexual assault centers and most of all public peaceful outrage.

We must stop blaming the alcohol, drugs, poor parenting, and the endless contributing factors and look at our society and our love of violence. Would NASCAR exist if they didn’t have a spectacular wreck now and then?  Lastly, look every minute and every day how you think, talk and act with your fellow human beings. We are in this together and that is how we will get out of it whole… together.